


Pride.

by love_me_carol



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-09-12 11:15:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16871917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_me_carol/pseuds/love_me_carol
Summary: Therese Belivet is a 16 year old student attending a new school, there she meets Carol Ross 18 year old student. There‘s a lot of talk about Carol Ross but Therese needs help in one of her classes and Carol seems to be the best for that job.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story and I‘m from germany, so I‘m really sorry for any mistakes and i hope this story doesn‘t suck.  
> Enjoy reading!

Today Therese wakes up in cold sweat, today she doesn‘t want to get up, today is her first day in her new school. She needed to change her schools for her last three years. First she was happy about that fact because it means she would have a new start but now Therese is worried.

Her morning starts like every other morning, getting up to the sound of her alarm, stepping inside the shower, brushing her teeth and drinking a coffee. She drinks way to much coffee for her age she knows that but she just loves the taste of it and today she really needs the caffeine.

As she steps out of her apartment she recognizes the smell of rain that will come down any second. Her school is only a few blogs away so she walks and enjoys the rain thats drizzling down now. Rain is her favorite weather and after weeks of sunshine she appreciates it even more. Looking at her watch she noticed that shes late. _Great my first day and I’m already late because I stood in the rain to long, god I‘m such a wierdo._

Walking trough the heavy glass doors with all these kids. Everyone is happy and standing in their groups telling storys about their summer holidays. Therese dosen‘t really know where she‘s supposed to go, she got a mail with the room number but that doesn‘t really help her right now.

„Terry!“ Therese turns around and sees Danny walking trough the doors towards her. Finally someone she knew, he needed to change with her.

„Are you as excited as I am? New year, new school, new people! It will be awesome.“ He looks around while he says that so he doesn‘t see Therese‘s scared face. All those facts really scare her.

„Come one we‘re going to be late.“  
„You know where the room is?“   
„Of course i do, Phil showed me around once.“

They walk some stairs up and Therese remembers Dannys older brother Phil, he‘s been on this school for one year now. The door to the room where they are supposed to be is open, there are already a dozen of students inside and Therese and Danny go to back. Therese leans agains the wall closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. _Everything will be fine, just breath, in and out._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thanks to all of you who left a comment. I am really grateful for all of you. So here we go, next chapter, I hope you like it!

After a few deep breaths she looks around, in front of the blackboard is a man, he looks as tired as Therese feels. She takes a look at a few students and realizes that some of them seem to be alone and now shes really grateful to have Danny by her side.

„Welcome to all of you,“ the man in front of the blackboard starts „my name is Mr. Miller and I‘m responsible for all of you. Today we will organize the classes and you will get to know your teacher for this year. All of you have one main class, there are two main math classes, one history, sport and art class. I will call each one of you and you will follow your teacher.“

Mr. Miller starts to call the students for the math classes and Therese really hopes she won‘t be one of them. After half of the students got up to follow their teachers Therese noticed a girl leaning against the windowsill. She only sees the back of her but something about this girl attracts Therese. She has beautiful blond wavy hair and wears an old leather jacked.

„Dannie McElroy,“ Mr. Miller says. „Yess I got in to the history class!“ Danny whispers towards Therese, she smiles but can‘t seem to look away from this girl.

„Carolyn Ross, those are all for the history class, please follow your teacher.“

„Bye Terry see you later!“

„Bye“ Therese whispers while her eyes follow this girl, she walks confidently out of the room.

_Carolyn Ross, what a beautiful name. She seems older then the rest of us. Are you serious? You can‘t know just from the way she walks that shes older than you, get a grip Therese!_

After she stops daydreaming she noticed that the room is almost empty, the sport students left already. „The rest of you will attend the art class so please follow Ms. Blair.“ Therese looks at her art teacher, she seems to be in her late 30s with black hair and some classes on top if her head. She wears a smile and walks out of the room. Therese is the last one to leave the room.

_Please be a nice teacher, pleasee. I really can‘t deal with someone mean as an art teacher. But fuck yes i got into the art class, i mean history wouldn‘t be that bad either, i could look some more at this beautiful girl. Argg Therese you‘re here to learn and not to stalk some girl who you think is beautiful and you just saw the back of her head! Alright alright let‘s concentrate._

Walking into the art class Therese feels some of her tension leave her body, art has always been something to escape to for Therese. She takes a seat at the back of the room by the window, takes another deep breath and waits for Ms. Blair to start the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed it! -E


	3. Chapter 3

It‘s Friday, her first week of school was hard, so much to take in but all in all it seems to be a good school. In this first week Therese hasn‘t had any lessons beside her art lesson and some organization stuff. Danny made some friends and introduced Therese to them. There’s Richard Semco math class, Genevieve Cantrell sport class and some others Therese can‘t remember, she tried to have some conversations with them but she‘s always the shy girl and hides in a far corner of the schoolyard where she sits against a tree with headphones and always a scetchbook in her hand. She hasn‘t seen the mysterious Carolyn Ross since the first day and wonders if she imagined her.

Now she sits on her bed and looks at some papers she got during her first week. She lives alone in this very small apartment with one bedroom a bathroom and a very small kitchen. The best thing about this apartment is that her window faces the garden of the home she lives in. She moved here during summer brake like everyone does when they turn 16. There are still people who watch after her but she has more freedom now, buys her own food and does her own laundry. Once in a week an adviser of the home comes around and takes a look at the apartment.

Therese looks at her timetable for her classes and sighns.  _Great math class first thing monday morning, can it get any worse?_ Her phone rings and she picks it up without looking at the caller.

„Hello?“

„Hey yo T dog, how about we celebrate our first week?“

„Danny there‘s nothing to celebrate we hardly had any lessons.“

„Oh come on, you know what I mean, lets go to the park. Richard, Gen and Phil will be there too!“

„Oh I don‘t know Dan.“

„Please Terry, for me?!“

„Puh alright, when will you be there?“

„Yes you‘re the best! We all meet around 8pm at the see in the middle of the park.“

„Okey, see you there.“

„See ya Terry!“

Therese lays down and lets out a breath, she really doesn‘t want to go but she knows that she at least needs to show up and try to have a good time. _Maybe it won‘t be that bad, Richard and Gen seem to be nice and you always had a good time with Dan and Phil._

Therese picks up her phone again and looks at the time, she still has over an hour to spare so she decides to take a shower and have a quick snack before she has to go.

On her way to the park she listens to Première Gymnopédie by Erik Satie, her mind wanders again. _Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn why do I have this feeling of missing you when I don‘t even know you. I don‘t know the color of you eyes or the shape of your lips or the sound of your voice. I want to know all of you, everything about you. What you do when no ones looking, what makes you smile... everything. Fuck do I really have a crush on her? Wait wait no I don‘t! I just want to.. want her to be my friend, she seemed nice. Girl, you haven‘t talked to her?! I know but it‘s just ahh I don‘t know whats going on._

Richard Danny and Phil play soccer. Gen is sitting on a blanket and cheers at them. Another deep breath and Therese takes out her earphones. „Hey Gen.“ „Therese there you are, how are you?“ „Oh I‘m fine, tired and you?“ „Oh yea me too, but we survived the first week.“

„Terry!“ Denny runs towards Therese and picks her up while hugging her. „Let me down, Dan“ he spins around and Therese has to laugh before he finally lets her down and drops down on the blanket. After greeting the other ones they all sit and talk about nothing in particular.

Out of nowhere Richard speaks up. „So Terry do you have a boyfriend?“ _Oh no not that question._ All eyes are on her now, even tho Danny and Phil know the answer already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope there are still some people reading this! (:) -E


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of Carol

before the summer holidays

 

„Carolyn Ross, come back right now!“ She ignores the angry voice of her father, gets in her room picks up her bag and leaves as fast as she can. After walking a few blogs she arrives at her friends house and knocks at the door. „Carolyn hello! Come in, Abigail is upstairs“ „Hello Mrs. Gerhard“, she smiles and walks the stairs up to her best friends room and opens the door without knocking.

 „Jesus Carol do you have to scare me like that.“ „Oh come on Abby don‘t cry“ „Whatever, you will sleep here today?“ Abby points at the bag Carol is still holding. „Yes.“ „Have you told your parents?“ „Yes, why would I be here if I haven‘t?“ „Ahm maybe to spend a night with your wonderful good-looking friend?!“ „Sure.“

„What did you say?“ Carol takes a seat besides Abby and leans back agains the headbord and sighns. „I told them that I have to repeat this school year because of my grades and then my father lost it, screamed shit like ‚you ruin our reputation‘ and ‚you are such a disappointment‘ and then I left.“ „So exactly the reaction you knew you would get.“ Carol starts to laugh and breathes out a ‚yes‘.

„Carol look... I told you before and now it‘s to late but seriously, you only repeat because you want to piss of your parents. You and I both know that you would have easily made it. Are you sure that this is the right way to piss them of?“ „You‘re right it‘s to late now and we talked about that before.“ „You‘re not gonna say anything else?“ „There‘s nothing else to say.“

After a few moments of silence Abby looks at Carol, she turnst her head too to look her best friend in the eyes. „Oh no I know that look, what are you up to Abigail?“ „You will see.“ Abby gets up and drags Carol along out of the house into the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therese and Carol meet!

Out of nowhere Richard speaks up. „So Terry do you have a boyfriend?“ _Oh no not that question._ All eyes are on her now, even tho Danny and Phil know the answer already.

„Oh, umm, no I‘m-“ „Great! How about you and me go out some day? Wouldn’t that be great Terry?“ Not waitning for an answer Richard goes on. „I already know the place, I think you would like it there and then we could-“ „Hey Richard how about another round of soccer mh?“ Danny stops Richards rambling for Therese‘s sake. „Alright!“ As the boys start playing Therese let‘s out a breath she didn‘t even knew she was holding.

„You know you need to tell him that you don‘t want to go out with him before it‘s to late Terry.“ Therese looks at Gen surprised, _was it that visible that I don‘t want to go out with him? If so how didn‘t Richard notice?_ „You know Richard is sometimes a little bit blind to see that someone doesn‘t want him thats why you need to tell him.“ „I will Gen, I just don‘t understand how someone would want to go out with me in the first place.“ „Ah Terry you‘re a good looking girl why wouldn’t anybody want to go out with you?“ Therese doesn’t know how to respond to that so she doesn’t. „I‘m gonna go play with the boys a little bit, you too?“ „Nah I‘m good.“ „Alright“, and Gen runs to the boys.

After a little bit of daydreaming Therese realized that it got dark, they all pack their stuff and go home with the promise to repeat a day like this as long as it‘s warm enough. Richard didn’t talk about the date that he wants again, only hugs Therese a little bit to long for her liking.

During her daydreaming she asked herself if she should ask Danny about Carolyn, they’re both in history class so Danny must have seen her and maybe know something about her. She doesn’t ask, she doesn’t want him to ask her why she’s so curious because she doesn’t know the answer herself.

Finally at home she falls into her bed and immediately falls asleep. The rest of her weekend is full with laundry and groceries shopping and cleaning her apartment.

Monday arrives fast and Therese really has zero motivation for her math class first thing in the morning. Arriving with her coffee cup she noticed that she shares her math class with the history class. Danny isn‘t there yet and the mysterious Carolyn neither. Looking around the class she finds two free seats at the window and saves the other one for Danny.

Shortly before the class stars Carolyn steps into the room and Therese heart starts to beat faster, her eyes are drawn to this magical girl. _How can someone look this good? She‘s so beautiful, shit she looks at me, stop staring Therese! Stop it now!_ Therese can‘t stop, she feels the heat that rises to her cheeks. _Shit she walks in my direction, I just need to tell her that the seat is already taken._

„Can I?“ she points at the seat beside Therese. Her low husky voice suprised Therese so much that she needs a few seconds to answer. „Y- Yess.“ _What the fuck since when to I stutter like this._ All thoughts about Danny pushed aside, she looks at Carolyn who sits gracefully down and takes out her school supplies.

„I‘m Carol by the way“, she smiles at Therese, her eyes are the lightest blue Therese has ever seen and again her voice throws Therese of guard. „Th-Terry... Therese“, whispers Therese looking at her hands. Looking back up she noticed that Carol smiles wider than before, a warm feeling spreads inside of Therese and she smiles back at her, her dimples showing. „Mhh... Therese.“ Carol looks away and their math teacher starts the lesson, Therese can‘t seem to look at the teacher, everything around Carol blurred like she‘s the only thing Therese can see from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked their first interaction!! i try my best! -E


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a short chapter, Carol and Therese interact again

She remembers nothing from her first math class or any other classes before their lunch brake. She barley recognizes that Dannie isn‘t at school that day. Carol didn‘t talk to her again that whole math class and left as soon as the bell rang.

Now sitting against the tree at her usual corner on the schoolyard listening to Leonard Cohen‘s Chelsea Hotel. Therese thinks about Carol, about her voice and her eyes and her face and her lips and her scent and and and. The sun shines down on her, head leaning against the tree and closed eyes.

Behind her eyes she recognized the shadow that sats upon her. Opening her eyes she sees her, standing above her, sun shining behind her like an halo. _She looks like an angel. Fuck, she‘s saying something._ Taking out her earphones, Therese stutters again, „So- Sorry what did you say?“ Still standing above her Carol chuckles, „I asked if you always hide here?“ „Oh ahm yes, sometimes I spent time with Dannie, but he’s not here today so I am here again, I think he‘s sick or“, Therese realizes that she‘s rambling so she just shuts her mouth and looks at this angle like creature.

„May I sit with you? My friends not here today normally I spent the brakes with her.“ „Sure!“ Therese answers immediately, her face burns up and Carol chuckles again. Sitting down beside her their shoulders touch and Therese closes her eyes to safe this feeling, taking a deep breath she opens her eyes again to find Carols on her. „What?“ „You’re weird,“ _great she thinks I‘m weird,_ „I like that.“ A big smile forms on Therese face.

„What were you listening to?“ Therese offers her one earplug and presses play. Leonard Cohens Treaty in one ear, the birds and the students that talk somewhere in the other. **Only one of us was real and that was me.** _Oh how true, she can‘t be real can she?_ Looking at Carol, who leans her head now against the tree with closed eyes, Therese can see every little freckle ob Carols face, can see a light scar across her brow.

She want‘s to touch her, to be sure that she‘s really there with her. The touch of their shoulders isn‘t enough for Therese, she wants more, she needs more. _It feels like i need her like air, but not even air seems as important as her. Fuck I am so smitten, I can‘t let her know. She will think I‘m disgusting for liking her. Shit why is this so hard, why can‘t it be like it is for everyone else. No one has a problem when a girl likes a boy but as soon as a girl likes a girl they all get crazy and think that the world comes to an end._

Therese leans her head back against the tree and tries to just enjoy this moment. A calm sets upon her that she only feels when shes alone and not even then it feels as good as it does right now. She feels safe beside this stranger, that doesn’t seem like a stranger at all.

_It is like it is in all these books, Therese thinks, I feel like I’ve known her forever. Thats why I feel so safe. Does she feels that too? Maybe I should ask her, there‘s no harm in that right? She already thinks that I am weird so I could just ask her. Okey yes I will ask her, now! I count to three and then I will ask. 1... 2... 3..._

Therese takes a deep breath,

„Carol do you feel that too?“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got this feeling that this fic is shit, i‘m sorry -E


	7. Chapter 7

The exact moment Therese speaks up the bell rings and her words get suppressed by this loud annoying sound.

_Since when is this brake so short??!!_

„Shit I have to go I‘m gonna be late,“ Carol gets up and walks away, then she stops turns around „What were you saying?“ Therese got up and looked anywhere but to Carol „Oh nothing really“, „Alright, see you Therese!“ Now running back inside the school her gold hair is the last thing Therese sees before she starts walking to her art classroom for her last lesson that day.

_Carol, what the hell are you doing to me?_

Her art lesson was really good but they need to start doing sketches of women and that is really the last thing Therese wants to do. For her it was always easier to draw men then women, easier to draw those sharp edges but drawing a woman?! How should she ever be able to catch the softness of a woman’s body in a sketch the softness but still sharpness of a women.

Her mind wanders back to Carol, _oh how I would love to draw her but I could never get her right, my sketch could never live up to the true beauty she is._

On her way back home she stops by at Dannie‘s and gives him the sheets she got for him during the math class. „You look like shit Dan.“ „Well thanks I feel like shit too,“ Dannie said, sitting in his bed with blankets and tissues all around him. „What did you discuss during math class?“ „Oh uh... I don’t know“ „What do you mean you don‘t know?“

With a sighn Therese sits down at the end of the bed, „that i don‘t know, you know I don‘t understand a thing someone is saying about math.“ „Yea but normally you would _try_ to understand. Did you at least save me a seat?“ „Oh yea about that...“ „Terryyy noo“ „I tried Dan but then there was this girl and she just sat down beside me.“ „What girl.“ „I think her name is Carol but I‘m not sure.“ _That is the only thing in your life you‘re sure about Therese..._

„Oh Carol, she‘s in my class. Phil told me a little bit about her.“ „What did he tell you?!“ Therese practically screams at Dannie, taken a back by her outburst Dannie needs a few seconds to gather himself. „First of all calm down, what is going on with you today? And second of all he didn‘t tell me anything interesting just some rumors that are going around about her.“ Therese just looks at him waiting for him to continue. „Gosh Terry, she was in Phils class last year but she needed to repeat this year because of her grades. She has or had this boyfriend named Harge, he‘s in the sport class above us. Phil says he‘s an idiot.“ _A boyfriend... of course someone like her is in a relationship. Shit._

„Anything else you know about her?“ „No not really, just some rumors that she made out with a girl in the school bathrooms,“ Therese looks up, Dan can see a flicker of hope on her face „hey do you like her?“

„WHAT? No I- I don’t even know her, why should I like her, I just think she‘s interesting, but like her ha-ha no gosh no Daannn you‘re so funny...“

Dan just looks at her with raised eyebrows and a sly smile not believing a thing she just said. „Shit you got it bad T.“ „Urg... I knowww, fuck, what should I do?“ „Don‘t look at me like that how am I supposed to know, I‘ve been gone for one day, ONE DAY and you already have a crush on the prettiest girl of the school? Not to bring you down or anything but remember what happened the last time before doing anything about it.“ „I will... thanks Dan. I should probably go,“ standing up walking towards the door Therese turns back to Dannie „and hey if these rumors are true then at least I already know that she could like girls.“

The night comes fast, Therese looks out of her window into the sky, looking for any star constellations thinking about those blue eyes that hold so much deepness, Therese wished she could drown in them and just see the world trough Carols eyes.

Therese falls asleep with Carol on her mind and a warm feeling inside her heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how many new fics still come out after three years! Another sign for how great this movie was and still is and for ever will be!

Her phone rings on her way home, without looking at her caller she answers and puts the call on speaker because she needs both hands to drive.

„Hello?“

„Where have you been during lunch brake?“

„Oh I needed to talk to my teacher and then I figured that you would be already on your way to get some food so I just stayed in the school.“

„Mh hm, why don‘t I believe you?“

„Abigail...“

„With who did you spend your brake?“

„Urg Abby, with some girl.“

„Some girl... do I know her?“

„No I don‘t think so, she‘s one of those that needed to change schools.“

„Whats her name?“

„Therese and that‘s all that I‘m telling you, I need to hang up I‘m driving, byee!“

„Car-“

_Therese... what is it about you that makes me want to know you so bad?_

 

**Tuesday**

Turning of her alarm, Therese stears at the ceiling. Her dreams were haunted by a beautiful blonde girl and because of that she didn‘t get much sleep that night. Looking at her phone she realizes that she needs to get up if she doesn’t want to be late. She got a message from Dannie letting her know that he won‘t go to school today.

Her last lesson is sport and she‘s not really happy about that but again the history class has sport with her class.

_Fuck Carol in sport clothes? I‘m gonna die, seriously how am I supposed to survive that? I wish Dannie wouldn’t be sick he could distract me a little bit... who am I kidding no one could distract me from Carol._

Listening to _Cigarettes after Sex_ while she packs her bag for the day and walks to school. First biology then art for four hours then lunch brake and after that sport, Therese hopes that Carol will spend her lunch brake with her again.

_We didn’t talk that much and I really enjoyed that but I also wanna know things about her so maybe I should start to talk more? But I will probably annoy her with my questions..._

Biology was a good start for her day, the teacher seemed nice, it‘s Mr. Miller and she really has a thing for biology. Art wars hard, Therese tried to do some sketches but today nothing worked out to her favor. Ms.Blair noticed that and tried to give her advices on how to get a piece of mind but Therese’s mind had other ideas and always wanders back to Carol. Luckily these four hours seemed to go by fast and their homework is to bring one of their favorite nude drawings of an artist printed out for their next lesson. Therese already has one in mind, she‘s not sure witch one yet but definitely one by _Jacob Collins._

Sitting agains her tree again she starts to google the nudes painted by Collins. _My tree haha maybe I should scratch something into the bark... oh look that is a good drawing maybe I will take this_.

„Why did I had this feeling that I would find you here?“

Again the husky voice of Carol throws Therese off guard. „Maybe you should scratch something in the tree so everyone knows that this is your place“, „Thats exactly what i was thinking a few seconds ago“, Therese responds and brings out a laugh in Carol. _Wow what a beautiful sound, I wish I could always make you laugh Carol._

„Well I was looking for you because I saw that we have sport together so I thought that we could have lunch and then go to the gym together? I bet you have no idea where the gym is.“ Looking up to Carol Therese can‘t believe what she just said, _she wants to have lunch... with ME??!! Fuck yes!_ „Your right I have no idea where the gym is.“ „Thought so, come on.“ Carol holds out her hand to help Therese up. As soon as their hands touch both feel something trough their whole body. Therese can feel her face getting red again and stands still for a few seconds while Carol already walks away.

„Are you coming, slowpoke?“ Therese walks a little bit faster to catch up again and can‘t stop smiling. _God you‘re an idiot Therese. Stop smiling like a love struck schoolgirl... well I am a love struck schoolgirl but anyways stop it now!_

„How about falafel?“ „Sounds great!“ _I really don‘t care as long as I‘m with you!_ „Great I know the best place!“ Carol smiles happily down at Therese as they make their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this and thank you all so much for reading and more thanks to the ones who comment, you motivate me!!! -E


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey jo, been gone for a while because I was really doubting myself. I know this is very short again and I will promise to write longer chapters in the future.  
> I hope you all had a great start into the new year!! drink some water! -E

„Have you been here before?“

„No“, Therese said to Carol in front of the Falafel place.

„Alright I will order something for you okey?“

„Fine just nothing spicy please.“

„You don‘t like it hot?“ Carol smiles at Therese.

„I do just not in my food“, _oh my god why did I just said that? She probably thinks I‘m flirting with her.... well aren‘t you? No I mean yes but no because I‘m no good in it!!_

„Mhh good to know, I‘m gonna order look where we can sit will you?“ and with that Carol walks away and Therese looks around, she sees a small table in front of the window and takes a seat.

Looking back towards Carol, she‘s looks at her phone and smiles, wearing her old leather jacked and some black jeans and boots. _How can she wear that and not brake out in sweat??_ Looking out the window Therese recognizes a few students walking by looking for a place where they can eat.

It‘s a beautiful sommer day but Therese was always a autumn kind of girl and can‘t wait for the cooler days with some rain and the leafs of the trees in all different kind of colors. Therese starts to daydream about her favorite memory when she was a child, running through the leafs with her father, laughing at nothing in particular and just being happy. She hasn’t felt that kind of happiness in a long time.

„There you go“, Carol put down a plate in front of Therese and takes a seat with her own plate.

„Thank you.“

„What were you thinking about?“ Looking up Carol hasn’t touched her food yet and looks at Therese like she tries to read her.

„Oh, ohm nothing, just something I remembered about a day I spent with my Dad.“

„You don‘t live with him?“

„No h- he died when I was young... I live alone.“ Carols smile fades after that, she wants to ask more but isn‘t sure if that is alright.

„What about your Mother? If i may ask.“

„She left after his death, I think she never really wanted me and without him she gave me away to this orphanage.“

„Oh... I‘m sorry.“

„It‘s alright.“

Not really hungry anymore Therese puts down her half eaten falafel and looks at Carol eating hers. Just from looking at her Therese feels that weird feeling inside of her, that connection that shouldn’t be there because she doesn’t really know Carol. She wished she would.

„Do you live with your parents?“ Carol looks up and for a second as their eyes meet both forget the question, where they are, everything. They just look.

„Oh, mhh hm I do, but I don‘t really like it. I spent a lot of time at my friends house to get away.“ Therese nods and isn‘t sure if she can ask Carol more than that. „Shit we need to get going if we don‘t want to be late.“ _There goes the chance of asking more..._

Therese picks up their plates and puts them on the counter. Carol already went out and stands in the shadows only her head is in the sun and her hair is even brighter than usual. _What I would give to have my camera now._ Therese walks out of the shop, Carol has her eyes closed and seems to just enjoy the sun on her face.

„You look very peaceful right now“, Carol opens her eyes, looks at Therese and just smiles at her. „Come on we have to go.“ Walking again side by side they make their way towards the gym, after a while Carol takes out a cigarette of her jacket an lights it.

„Do you smoke Therese?“ _God the ways she says my name, like I never heard it bevor and only now I am aware of it._ „No, just sometimes when I had a drink to much.“

Carol laughs at that and says nothing else. All the way to the gym not a single word was spoken again. They both feel that they have this privilege, where you don‘t need to fill the silence. Silence between people is always weird but not with the right ones. And never, for both of them, did silence feel so right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohh btw, in my country you can drink beer and wine as soon as you turn 16 and you can smoke and drink hard liquor when you turn 18, just so you know if you didn‘t. hope you liked this so far, comments or kudos are much appreciated just so i know i should continue this story! -E


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go again, Therese thinks about Carol and can‘t stop her hands from wandering...

Sport class couldn’t have been more distracting than it was, thinking back while lying in her bed Therese feels the heat in her whole body.

They arrived with enough time to change, Therese just needed to change her shirt an into her trainers. Carol on the other hand needed to change her whole outfit. Seeing her only in her underwear and her sports bra and remembering that look sends heat south into Therese‘s own underwear. She really tried not to stare, she‘s not a creep after all but it seemed like her eyes were working on their own and she finds herself looking at Carol over and over again.

But the worst part was after sport, is was a hart class and everyone was sweaty, a lot of girls just changed and went home but Carol got out of her clothes and again Therese finds herself staring at her in awe, she did not understand how some could look this good, and to be honest this hot with drops of sweat running down her body, running down her neck over her collarbones and arriving between her breasts.

Therese remembers wishing in that moment to be one of those drops of sweat to be able to run along Carols smooth skin. Carol grabbed a towel and headed to the showers, after asking Therese if she will take a shower too.

Therese declined, but now she wished she didn‘t just because she would have loved to see Carol in the shower, to see how her body would look without any barriers for her eyes. To see how Carol washes the sweat of of her body, see her hands roaming over her own body. But being herself, Therese knows that she‘s way to shy to let someone else see her in all her „glory“. And if she had followed Carol into that room full of showers she knows that she wouldn’t be able to contain herself, she knows she wouldn’t be able to stop staring and the last thing she wants right now is that Carol thinks she‘s a creep.

So now the only thing she can do is imagine Carol in the shower, imagine how Carols hands would run over her own body and maybe, maybe being able to touch Carol herself.

_Fuck Carol... what are you doing to me??_

Again as if she has no control over her body her hands start wandering over her body, eyes closed, imagine that it is Carol who touches her. Imagining Carol kissing her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear...

After her little session with herself, Therese takes a shower. Washing everything of off her.

_I will never be able to look her in the eyes again, I just don‘t understand how someone can have such a spell over another person. I don‘t know her, she doesn‘t know me and still there is something... I think. But what if, shit what if only I feel that. I can‘t tell her, she will never talk to me again. And if having her as a friend is the only thing I can have thats what I have to live with..._

Getting out of the shower Therese starts to do some sketches with Carol on her mind, totally losing any sense for time.

After a while her phone rings, announcing a new message. That brings her out of her trance like state, she looks down at the sketch and thinks that it‘s not as bad as those other sketches she did. _Maybe I found my muse... or something like that._

Taking her phone and stopping the music she listened to, she opens the message app. Therese doesn’t recognize the number but the message alone let‘s her know who it is.

**Hey Terry! Just wanted to remind you of our date, I‘m looking forward to it and wanted to ask when you‘ve got time? How about this friday?**

_Urg Richaaarrdd are you serious, I really need to let him know that I don‘t want to... but not now._

She starts her music again, now listening to Lua by Bright Eyes, closes her eyes and falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this! let me know what you think so far, how i can do something better and everything else you wanna say to me. -E
> 
> P.S listen to Lua if you want to I really like this song!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a hangover so this probably sucks, I‘m sorry -E

Wednesday Therese wakes up to her favorite sound, rain. With a smile on her face she gets up, drinks her coffee and wears her favorite hoodie. Remembering the day she bought it, at the The Neighbourhood concert a few years ago.

Walking trough the rain she always remembers the line from one of the Fleetwood Mac songs, _when the rain washes you clean you‘ll know._ What exactly she will know she never knows but maybe some day she will.

Looking up there she is, Carol, smoking with another girl in front of the school. Standing so close to each other so they can share the umbrella making Therese wish she would be this other girl share a cigarette with Carol, keep her save from the rain. _Maybe one day..._

Carol sees her, smiles and waves and Therese is sure her day can‘t get any better now. She waves back, now this other girl is also looking at her. Therese walks inside for her first lesson of the day, philosophy. Later she will have math and she was never happier to have math class.

————————————————-

„Who is she?“

„Mh? Who?“

„This girl, you just greeted her. You never greet anyone, especially not on rainy days, so who is she?“

„That was Therese.“

„Ahh yea the Therese you shared lunch with and not with me?“

„Yes Abby that Therese.“

„She‘s cute.“

„Yes she‘s... beautiful.“

„Ohhh, I get it.“

„What?“

„Oh nothing.“

„Abby?! What do you get?“

„Nothing, come on lets figure out what to do since we both don‘t have class.“

Abby walks away before Carol can say anything else.

————————————————-

After philosophy Therese has two hours free then the lunch brake and after that math. She stays in school for now, the rain got heavier so she can‘t go out to her usual place. Sitting down near the window, she takes out her book and starts reading. She‘s totally lost in her book, only realizing that lunch brake had started because everywhere are students now, talking and laughing.

She can‘t stay here, with all these people, the rain falls as heavy as earlier , before she finds a place to hide she will be totally soaked.

Therese opens the door, it closes and shes hit with a silence only heavy rain brings, with a smell she‘s already so familiar with but still makes her smile. She starts to walk, already feeling her hair sticking to her face.

„Carol stop! I‘m talking to you god dammit!“

Therese turns around and there is Carol again, running towards her, and there is a guy standing in the door to the school building looking very frustrated.

„Are you crazy you gonna get sick!“ Carol opens her umbrella holds it above Therese and herself, wipes some drops from Thereses face. All Therese can do is look up to her, hair wet, more wavy now, eyes grayer then ever and so so close. Her fingertips so soft on her cheek. It seems like they are in their own world right now, surrounded by rain.

„What were you thinking?“ Carol asked in a soft tone.

„Um.. nothing I guess, I just needed to get away from there and I really don‘t have any problems with rain.“

„Well I do and I have a problem with you getting sick, come on we gonna get some tee or something“

Carol puts her arm around her shoulders, _this is what heaven must feel like._ Never beating so fast, Therese feels her heartbeat everywhere, asking herself if Carol can feel it too.

They walk in silence for a while, both not really knowing where to go but content to be so close to each other.

„How was your day, Therese?“

„Oh good so far, wonderful weather I had some time to read and philosophy is one of the subjects I really enjoy. And yours?“

„Ah like always, what are you reading?“

„You know Plato?“

„Yes, before you tell me more, how about this café?“

Therese nods, but wants to say _no_ or _let us just walk and be close_ , it‘s to late now. Carol lets her arm drop opens the door and mentiones to Therese to take a seat while she orders. Without Carol by her side she feels how cold she is. _Is it because of the rain or because shes not by my side? Probably because of the rain, yea that must be it!_

While Carol waits for her coffee and a tea for Therese, a smile spreads upon her lips. Feeling the warmth everywhere inside her body just from having her arm around Therese. _How it must feel to kiss her... no no no Carol stop. You don‘t even know if she likes you like this. Probably not so stop those thoughts._ Getting her order she walks back to Therese, deciding to sid by her side and not in front of her, to have the chance to be close to her again.

„So tell me about this book.“

Therese takes her mug to warm her hand, turns her body towards Carol so she can look at her.

„Well Plato had this idea that there once were three genders, women men and the third. A being with four legs and four arms, two people as one. This third gender got very powerful and the Gods got scared so Zeus parted them, because them being without their other half is being weak. Since then those who have been separated are looking for their other half, for their soulmate. I can read you one paragraph that I really like if you want?“

„I would love that.“ Smiling Carol puts her arm behind Therese on the backrest. Observing Therese while she takes out her book, which she must have read a hundred times by the way the book looks.

Therese clears her throat, „This cause of it all is this, that out original form was as I have described, and we were entire; and the craving and pursuit of that entirety is called love. Formerly as I have said, we were one; but now for our sins we are all dispersed by God, what I mean is- and this applies to the whole world of men and women- that the way to bring happiness to our race is to give our love it‘s true fulfillment: let everyone find his own favorite, and so revert to his primal estate. If this be the best approach to it among all acts open to us now must accordingly be the best to choose; and that is to find a favorite whose nature is exactly to our mind. Love is the god who brings this about; he fully deserves our hymns. For not only in the present does he bestow the priceless boon of bringing us to our very own but he also supplies this excellent hope for the future, that if we will supply the gods with reverent duty he will restore us to our ancient life and heal and help us into the happiness of the blest.“

Closing the book Therese looks up, into Carols eyes. She has this look that Therese had never seen before, almost like she would start to cry at any moment. They just look, trying to understand what they feel and what the other one is feeling.

 

„That was really beautiful...“ _just like you, Therese._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorryyy ahh there is a lot going on in my life right now, I still hope there are some people reading this. -E

  
They drink the rest of their tea and coffee in silence until Therese remembers the boy that screamt after Carol.

„Who was that boy?“  
Carol looks outside trying to find out wich one Therese means.

„Wich boy?“

„The boy that screamed after you?“

And then Carol knew wich one.

„Ah, that was Harge he‘s... no one“

„How do you know him?“ Technically Therese already new the answer to that but she wants to know what Carol will say.

„Well... he‘s my ex, I broke up with him during summer brake and he just won‘t have it.“

„Oh I‘m sorry..“

„Don‘t be, what about you? Anyone in your life?“

„No.. I never really had a relationship.“ Therese somehow feels ashamed about that fact now in front of Carol. The wonderful Carol who probably already had a lot of relationships and if not it‘s definitely not because of the lack of interest.

„Well no need to rush, darling.“  
Carol smiles and so does Therese now. _Darling... what a beautiful word, no one ever called me that._

The sound of Carol‘s phone announced a new message, she looks at her phone and a smile spreads across her face.  
„Hey Therese guess what?“

„What?“

„We don‘t have Math today, the teacher is sick!“

„Today is such a great day.“

„Buuttt... he announced a test to know our math knowledge from the past year.“

„What?! Shit.“  
Now Therese is terrified.

„You look like you‘ve seen a ghost, if you need help we can learn together if you would like. I‘m not that bad.“

„Really? God that would be great... but I really don‘t want to bother you.“

„You don‘t Therese, we still have two weeks to learn so how about we start tomorrow just so we know what we have to work on the most.“

„Alright, thank you!“

————————————————

After a while they said their goodbyes, huged each other and Carol said that she would give Therese a call later that day.

Now Therese can‘t seem to do anything else besides sitting on her bed and staring at her phone, anxiously waiting for the call.

Then a phone rings with an unknown number. Not wanting to seem to eager she tries to wait a few rings but can‘t seem to hold back and picks up after the second ring.

„Hello!“

„Hey Terry it‘s me!“  
_Urg Richard..._

„I call because of friday I‘m not sure you got my message because you didn’t answer.“  
_Oh I got it Richard I just didn‘t want to answer._

„So how about I pick you up at 7?“

„Yea about that.. I can‘t. I have this math test and I really have to learn.“

„Oh come on Ter, take a break and come with me. It will be such a good night I already know that!“

„I really can‘t Richard.“

„Just call me Rick please. Are you sure? If you change your mind just give me a call! I always have time for a pretty girl like you!“

„Alright bye.“

„Goodbye Terry!“

Hanging up Therese immediately checks if she got another call, she didn‘t.

Thinking about it Therese would always prefer a day with Carol learning then going out with Richard, even if it‘s math. That already says a lot about how much more important Carol is for Therese.

Another hour passes and Therese almost falls asleep, but as soon as her phone rings she’s wide awake.

„Hello?“

„Therese, it‘s Carol.“

„Carol... hi“

„So how about we learn after school? We can go to our café again if that‘s alright for you?“  
_Our café.. how perfect that sounds._

„Yes that sounds great.“

„Great, see you tomorrow then.“

„See you tomorrow Carol.“

„Good night Therese.“

Before Therese has the chance to answer Carol hung up.  
Saving her number, Therese falls asleep with a smile and Carols voice in her head.

_What a perfect day..._

————————————————

The next day went by way slower then Therese expected, she can‘t wait for her last lesson to be over so she can see Carol. She didn‘t see her once today.

  
It‘s still raining, Therese again has no umbrella with her, she doesn‘t even own one. But if she did she wouldn‘t have taken it with her because she hoped to be close to Carol again. She constantly finds her self drifting back to that moment, that memory of them. As close as never before. When she realizes that she‘s daydreaming again she finds herself blushing and smiling.

After her last lesson she practically jumps out of the classroom and runs outside in the rain. And again a peacefulness washes over her that only the rain can bring her.  
It seems like the rain falls slower than usual and she walks slower then ever.

  
_How come time always seems to change when you have a place to go to, or a person that waits for you. And how come that time goes over so quickly as soon as you‘re with the person you really want to be with?_

And there she is, Carol... sitting in the window, Therese stops in front of the café and takes some time to just look, look at her, siting there, lost in thoughts and a coffee in her hand. _God.. she is so beautiful. She really is a work of art._

Carol turns her head and looks directly at Therese. Even though there are a few meters separating them and the rain thats loud around Therese but not around Carol, it seems like they are together in a bubble of.. _what is this that I‘m feeling?_ No one knows and there is no rush to find an answer to that, they just enjoy that feeling and hope that the other one feels the same.

Carol waves Therese inside, where a coffee for her is already waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, leave something behind and make me smile! (:)  
> -E


	13. Chapter 13

„Hello darling, how was your day?“

Therese can hide her smile from Carol because her face looks over Carols shoulders as her arms wrap around her body. „Oh it was fine,“ this time Therese decides to sit beside Carol and not in front of her, both turn their bodys towards each other, „and how was yours?“

„Boring really...“ Carol says with a wave of her hand, „but now that will change.“

„Why?“

„Because I could never get bored with you Therese,“ with a smile Carol gives Therese her cup of coffee, „I already ordered for you I hope thats what you want.“

„It‘s perfect thank you!“

Both enjoy their presence for a while and drink in silence, now and then stealing a glance at each other and hiding their smiles behind their coffee cups.

„So let‘s do this...“ Carol says and both get out their stuff.

After two hours of Carol describing literary everything to Therese they decide to call it a day. „God I‘m such an Idiot I‘m sorry Carol you really don’t have to do this for me.“

Therese let’s out a frustrated groan and her head drops down on the table. „Nonsense and can you stop it, Therese I really want to help you and it helps me to so...“ Carol touches Therese’s back and draws little circles, „Hey come on don‘t be like this. Everything will be fine!“

With the hand on her back Therese doesn‘t dare to move an inch. She even tries to breath less so she can feel every little movement and pattern Carol’s hand creates. Her cheeks turn red while she remembers touching herself while thinking about those hands of Carols.

„How about we meet tomorrow if you’re free and learn again?“ At that Therese sits up cursing to herself when Carol takes her hand away.

„Really?!“ Carol shrugs.

„Yea I mean I‘ve got nothing else to do.“

_Oh my god, seeing Carol again on a saturday... like friends do right?! Friends always meet on weekends out of school and if she really wants to meet me that has to mean that I mean something to her right?! She sits here with me for hours because she wants to help me that also means that I mean something to her. But nothing more than a friend properly... how could someone like her even be interested in someone like me. She‘s a goddess and I‘m just a no one. Oh shit what if all of this is a dream and nothing is real.. that would explain why she even talks to me and-_

„Therese?! Hello?“ Carol tried to get her back for a while now with no luck. „Shit sorry, I was ohm... dreaming...“

Again her cheeks turn into a bright red. „Yea I noticed,“ Carol touches Therese’s head „darling are you alright you seem to burn up a little bit.“ There is a glint of concern in Carols eyes but also something else and a playful smile seems to tuck at the corner of her lip. „Ye-Yea, I‘m fine, good really and uhm tomorrow would be great if that would be alright with you I mean. If not then we can just learn again next week or whenever you’re up to really.“ Therese just stops then noticing how much shit she was saying.

„Tomorrow then! I will write you a text later and we can make out a time alright?“ „Y-Yes“ Carol stars to put everything back into her back and looks with an apologizing smile back to Therese. „I‘m sorry but I have to go now. We will talk later.“

With that she‘s out of her seat Therese tries to register what just happened but can‘t seem to fully understand. The only sign that Carol really was with her is her coffee mug with a smudged lipstick stain and a hint of her perfume in the air surrounding Therese.

After Therese decided to head home she calls Dannie and tells him about the test that will come up.

„Oh Terry do you think you will get trough it? I mean I know I can but you?“

„It will work, I hope. I‘m learning already so we will see.“

„You do what?! Alone?“

„Jesus no, Carol helps me.“

„Carol as in Carol Ross as in the girl that stole my seat?“

„Yes that Carol and she didn’t stole your seat Dannie she didn’t knew it was yours.“

„Yea because you didn’t tell her. Anyways so you and Carol mh?“

„What?“

„Nothing...“

„Daaann tell me.“

„Nothing it‘s just strange I think. As far as I know she never makes friends, she has this one girl and thats it. She doesn’t even really talk to anyone else and now you two hang out.“

Therese drops her stuff beside her table and herself in her bed.

„We don‘t hang out Dannie we just learn.“

„Mh hm, I believe that when I see it!“

„You will, bye Dan!“

„Bye, I will be back on monday!“

„Good!“

With her last strength Therese gets up again and cooks herself some noodles.

————————————————-

„Carol over here!“

Abby screams across the full bar towards her. She feels all eyes on her probably because of the outfit she chose to wear. A short and thight black dress with an open back and some sneakers. Normally she would love to wear some heels but tonight she decided agains it and tought it would be too much. „Why am I always on time when I know that you aren’t?“ Abby says while pushing a wine glass in Carols hand as she takes a seat beside Abby at the bar.

„Because honey, the day you will be late will be the day I will be on time.“ „As if! What did you do after school?“ asked Abby while she looks around the bar.

„Oh nothing and you?“ At that she loos back towards Carol who tries to hide her face behind her wine class. „Why do you lie? I know that tone, so tell me what did you do after school?“ 

„I helped Therese with some maths.“ „You did what?! What is going on with you lately? I mean I know that you can be kind if you want to but no one else does because you never are towards people you don‘t know.“ „

What?! Of course I am.“ Carol says offended and Abby just looks at her with raised eyebrows „Yea okey maybe not but she really needs help and I like her so why shouldn’t I help her?“

„You know what do what you want and I already know that you like her I can see that. But lets talk about this redhead over there.“ Carol follows Abbys eyes and sees the back of a girl. „I think I will try my luck with her later, what do you think.“ „I think you‘re crazy for thinking that every girl is gay.“ „Why shouldn‘t I, everyone that‘s straight assumes everyone else is!“ „Then go for it.“ „Later, maybe.“ With that they raise their glasses again.

————————————————-

**Therese this is Carol, how about we meet at your place tomorrow? -C _03:23am_**

**Hi Carol, yes we can do that I will send you my adress -T _03:25am_**

**Oh shit I didn’t wake you up did I? -C _03:25am_**

**No worries you didn‘t! -T _03:26am_**

**Then why are you still awake? -C _03:28am_**

**I didn’t sleep well, what about you? -T _03:29am_**

**Had some drinks with Abby a friend of mine -C _03:30am_**

**Well I hope you had fun! I will try to sleep again. Sleep well Carol, see you! -T _03:30am_**

**Good night Therese! -C _03:35am_**

**.**

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**.**

**xx -C _03:47am_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this new chapter! T&C will get closer on this weekend so stay tuned! let me know what you think! and i try to update as much as i can but i‘m always on the run, currently i‘m in spain my second home! so ¡hola! to any readers from spain! -E


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i knowww this is probably very short again but I couldn’t wait to post it so here it goes hope you enjoy it

**Hi, what time will you be here? -T _10:46am_**

**Around 5 if that is alright? -C _01:16pm_**

**Perfect! -T _01:20pm_**

After getting up, breakfast, laundry and cleaning up Therese sits on her bed looking around her room. The sun in shining trough her window, her walls full of art by herself and some by her favorite artists. In the middle of it all in a small frame a picture of her and her father, the only thing that is left from that time, the rest is her memory and sometimes she‘s not sure how real those are. She decides to open the window to let the cool summer breeze into her small „apartment“ and take a shower.

It‘s almost time, _Carol should be here soon._

A song she didn‘t listen to that often starts to play from her playlist trough her speakers. Now she starts to really feel it and listens to it on a loop.

„I wasn’t looking where I was going, I fell into your eyes. You came into my crazy world like a cool and cleansing wave.“

Therese now sings along from the top of her lungs and dances in her room.

„Like a powerful drug I can‘t get enough of, lost in your eyes drowning in blue.“

All of a sudden her ringtone plays and she sees that Carol is calling her.

„Yea?“ a little out of breath she tries to hide what she just did as if Carol could have seen her.

„Can you open the door honey?“ „What?“ Then she hears the knocking from Carol who is standing in front of her door. Opening the door still holding her phone to her ear Therese takes Carol in, who wears a red summer dress and black vans. _Shit she looks stunning! How am I suppose to concentrate. Stop staring and say something!!_

„Sorry I was ahm listening to music.“ Carol just smiles at her, „Yea I heard that, figured it would be easier to call you then to knock your door down.“ says Carol with a smile on her face, „Can I come in?“

„Oh shit of course!“ Stepping aside to let Carol in, a hint of her perfume meets Therese, she starts to feel a little dizzy.

„Cute apartment,-“ standing in the middle of her bedroom Carol spins around slowly stopping in front of Therese’s bed looking at it contemplating if she could sit there or not. She decides to just sit down on the bed.

„-and you also sing cute.“ Carol says with another smile and a wink. „You heard me? Shit sorry.“ Not knowing where to sit in her own apartment she just stands in her door to her bedroom under the observing eyes of Carol. „Don‘t apologize like I said it was cute. I wish I could have seen you while singing.“ Not telling Therese that she stood in front of her door over five minutes listening to Therese’s voice. Again Therese feels her cheeks getting red. „Oh! Do you want something to drink? Or eat?“

„No thank you. Come sit with me for a while I don‘t want to start right away.“ „O-Okey“ Slowly Therese approaches her bed and sits beside Carol. „Did you do anything today?“ Carol asks and leans back on her hands, her head falling to the side. One of her hairs fell over Carols cheek. Before Therese could think about what she‘s doing she leans towards Carol and brushes the hair behind her ear. Stopping in her tracks for a second and then lets her hand fall back in her own lap.

„N-No I just cleaned up a little bit...“ lost in her thoughts about what she just did, „oh a-and what about you?“ „Nothing really, I slept really long because of the drinks I had yesterday.“ Carol falls on her back and puts her hands under her head just looking at the ceiling, „and I‘m still tired to be honest.“

Therese now sits crossed legged besides Carol, looking down at her, only now noticing the small eye bags under Carols eyes, without any make up, her hair seems to be a little messier than usual but still is she the most beautiful girl Therese had ever laid eyes on.

„Well we don‘t really have to learn, I‘m not in the mood... well I‘m just in a good mood and maths would destroy that.“ At that Carol laughs and Therese is sure that she will always try to get that sound out of her mouth. Noticing the small wrinkles Carol gets when she smiles Therese knows, they will get deeper over time a sighn of all the times she smiled even if it‘s just over something as silly as the sentence that came out of Therese‘s mouth and she will be beautiful, so _beautiful_ , even more so then now.

_How is that possible, how can she get even more beautiful with time... well I can’t know that for sure but at the same time I just know it will be like that._

„Well Therese, do tell me what else we can do?“

_What can WE do? There is so much one could do but why don‘t we just sit in silence? Words never live up to ones feelings, they never catch what you truly want to say so why not not talk at all. If we start we get to question we may not want to ask or answer yet._

„Did you eat anything today because I‘m hungry so I could cook something for us and we could watch a movie or something like that.“ Therese doesn’t know what else to offer her. She knows that there are probably tons of better thinks Carol does in her free time with her friends.

_Friends... is that what we are? I mean I see Gen as a friend and I didn‘t do as much with her as I have done with Carol now. So I guess thats what we are, right?_

„That sounds perfect!“ _Really? Does it?_ „Really?!“

„Yes, do you mind if we listen to some more music while we cook?“ How could she mind something as simple as that? How could she ever mind something Carol is suggesting.

„Not at all, here take my phone, it should still be connect.“ Carol plays the song again Therese listened to on repeat. Listing to the lyrics she smiles to herself, after that she plays one of her favorite songs of the moment Kamel Kamel by Roar Amundsen.

While the music plays in the background Carol and Therese just enjoy being in each others presence, cooking bumping into each other once a while. The sun starts to set, the last minutes of the sun shines into the apartment letting everything and everyone glow in a golden light. With Alex Turner’s Glass in the park playing in the background the whole scene seems like something out of a movie.

Therese looks at Carol while she opens a bottle of wine. She can‘t believe that this beautiful creature is inside her apartment, spending time with her. She‘s scared of her feelings for Carol but at the same time she feels like she‘s on a constant high. Just thinking about Carol gives her goosebumps. She thought she was in love before but now she realizes that what she now feels is love. She is in love with Carol...

„Got it!“ Carol says after opening the bottle turning towards Therese with a triumphing smile on her face. Only then she sees the look on Thereses face of pure... _admiration?_

Her smile turns into a shy one because she doesn’t know what Therese is thinking right now. They stand in front of each other, Carol with the open bottle of wine in her hand and Therese leaning against the counter.

Before one of them could get brave enough to say something the music stops and Therese’s phone is ringing _again_. She stays standing for a second longer, another second of just looking, looking at her, giving Carol an apologizing smile. Walking to her bedroom Therese picks up her phone not looking who‘s calling.

„Hello?“

„Terry! It‘s me Rick!“ Richards voice is heard trough the speakers because Therese’s phone is still connected.

„I thought we could go to the cinema today. There is this really cool movie today, full of action and explosions! I bet you would love that, right?!“

Therese rolls her eyes, as Carol enters the room to get her own phone and check if Abby texted her back. „Richard I can‘t.“

„Oh come on Terry what could be so important that you would not have a nice evening with me?“

„I already have plans.“

„Okey, you know what, you have my number just call me if you would ever find time to have some fun. Bye.“

Richard hangs up before Therese can respond, and she doesn’t really care, just glad the phone call was short and hopes that he finally leaves her alone.

„I can leave if you want.“ Carols voice interrupts Therese while choosing the next song, she turns around and looks at Carol who leans in the door. Hoping that Carol doesn‘t see the desperation in her eyes. _Leaving, no don‘t how am I supposed to do anything without you now?_

„No please don‘t, I rather stay here with you then going out with him.“ Again Carol just looks at her, Therese is afraid she said too much but then a hint of a smile forms on Carols face. She turns around and walks into the kitchen, „Dinner is ready, darling.“ With a smile she chooses the next song and walks into the kitchen to sit with Carol.

Again they don‘t talk during their meal. There are still a lot of things they don‘t know about each other and things they want to know but for now they are content with what they know and what they have. The time will come where they can ask the other the questions they have, get to know each other better even though it already feels like they know one another better then anyone else ever had.

The music is still playing, still Therese‘s playlist and only now she realizes that she does not care about what music is playing. Normally she would hate to choose music when she is with friends, would always skip most of her favorite songs, because no one could like the things she likes. But now here, with her, Carol, she doesn’t care. Not because she does not care to please Carol, but because she feels free enough to show who she is, trough her music, feels like the music does not even matter that much right now in comparison to their shared silence.

Before they could choose a movie to watch, Carols phone rings. She walks into the kitchen and picks it up.

Therese stays sitting on her bed, frightened that something comes up and Carol has to leave. Something about the air around her shifts, it‘s almost like the air changed to something heavier, something that sits heavy in her lungs and won‘t escape even when she exhales. A shiver runs down her spine as she hears the harsh tone in which Carol answers what ever is said to her.

„Would you-“

Therese must have been in her head again because there she is, there is Carol standing in front of her, looking _shy?_

„I mean, could I maybe, stay here tonight? I would ask someone else but I can‘t, but I also understand if I can‘t I mean you probably-“

„Carol...“ Therese waits for her to look up, look into her eyes, „of course you can stay here I don‘t mind.“

_I really don‘t mind that at all..._

„Really?!“ Now there is the smile again Therese loves to see.

„Yes! Come on we still have to choose a movie.“

Therese pets beside her on the bed and Carol takes small but sure steps to her.

Both think about the night where they would lay together on this bed, side by side...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe you noticed that i listen to a lot of songs while writing this chapter, the beginning is inspired by „addicted to you“ because i saw an edit abou lou and debbie with this song, if you want you can listen to all songs i mention i really do enjoy them.  
> tell me what you think about this chapter, i love to read your comments -E
> 
> oh btw have you seen the Cate Blanchett photos for the beauty papers??? i died, i really did so i‘m writing this from heaven (it‘s probably hell but all the gays are here so it‘s heaven for me, byee)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well well well, I hope you enjoy this little thing... -E

Instead of watching a movie they opened another bottle of wine and just talk.

„Who called you earlier?“

„Oh my father,“ looking at Therese Carol sees that she would like to know more, so she just continues without waiting for Therese to ask, „he wanted me to come home, because Harge showed up. He wants me to marry him after school. Because he „would do our family good““

„Oh-“ Again Therese mind decides to loose focus on what is in front of her and get lost in the labyrinth inside her head.

_Soooo what exactly does this mean? Will they marry?? Shit, do you have a crush on a girl that could never be yours?! Well it seems like it..._

Carol brings her back again, she‘s like a rope that Therese holds on to as soon as she‘s inside the labyrinth, to find her way back to reality, to her.

„Don‘t worry darling, I definitely won’t marry him. That‘s why I repeat this year, just so I can put this off some more.“

Those words bring Therese some ease and she exhales a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. It seems to her, that Carol makes her do things she never realizes until they are done.

At some point Carol stands in front of Therese’s „art“ wall, looks at the sketches from Therese. „Those are beautiful Therese.“ Looking down to the glass in her hands, Therese never liked people to look her her art, to see the things she feels.

„Th-Thank you...“ After a while Carol asks Therese, „who is this?“ while looking at the photograph in the middle of the wall. Therese gets up, stands beside Carol and just looks for a while at the photo. „Thats my father... and me. This must have been a year before he died.“

Thinking back, there was so much time between the day her father died and the day she went to the orphanage, but Therese doesn’t remember anything from that time. It seems to her like the day her father died, her mother left her. But that is not the truth so what happened in between? Why doesn’t she remember?

„You look cute“, Carol brings her back to the present, smiling down at her, „you look happy.“

„I was, I was a happy child for a long time.“

„And are you happy again?“ Carol turns toward Therese, and so does Therese. How could she not be happy in this moment, in this moment where Carol stands in front of her, looking at her with those eyes that see right trough her.

„Yes, yes I am.“ Carol brushes hair behind Thereses ear leans a bit forward, just to stop in her tracks „Good.“

Both again try to read what the other is feeling, try to understand their own feelings for this other human being in front of them. It seems to be totally different from everything they ever felt, it seems to be so much that it‘s almost drowning them.

„Tell me about your father, how was he? If you don‘t mind?“ Carol asks with a soft voice.

Therese grabs a cigarette out of the pack that lays on her table, opens her window and sits on the sill. „He was such a kind father, and I think he, really loved me. We always took walks together and just looked at things.“

Carol also lights a cigarette and sits opposite of Therese now.

„I mean it‘s really hard to say what your memories are, when you loose a parent. You don‘t know if you remember things because you have been described them or whether you actually remember them or you animating a photo of him that you have seen, so it‘s... it‘s strange.“

Carol does not know how to respond to that, she has never lost someone she loved. But there is a feeling again, spreading out inside of her like a disease, this feeling of protecting Therese from everything that might hurt her. She wishes she could take every ounce of pain away from her, she would take it for her, carry it on her shoulders for her. Knowing that that’s not possible, she offers Therese her hand, so she can at least show her that she cares, that she will be there for her, no matter what she‘s going trough.

Again Therese got lost in her thoughts, out of the corner of her eye she sees Carol, reaching out for her. For a second she just looks at Carols hand, this beautiful hand, with small freckles, a ring on her middle finger, she turns her palm up, inviting Therese’s hand in. Not wanting to ruin this moment by overthinking it, Therese puts her hand in Carols, they interwine their fingers. Both look at their hands as if they have never seen something like that before, as if they are the first human beings that do such a thing.

The feeling of it, it is indescribable for them, they feel scared but safe, feel nervous but confident. Again so many feelings at the same time, then they look up, into each other’s eyes and see that they feel the exact same _thing_. Whatever it is they both feel.

„I wanna... know, I think, I mean I wanna ask you things, but I‘m not sure if you want that...“

Carol looks down, looks at their hands, those hands that seem to have a mind on their own, seem to be so much braver than the rest of their bodies.

„Ask me things... _please_.“

Therese notices the small brake in Carols voice, she doesn’t know where to start with her questions or what exactly it is she wants to ask. There is so much going on in this labyrinth of thoughts inside her head. Behind every corner is a new question.

_Can you feel this? Did you ever feel like this? Am I reading everything totally wrong? What is happening to me? To us? Why do I feel so safe with you? It seems like nothing could ever hurt me as long as you’re by my side... never let me go?_

The darkness of the night and in her apartment gives Therese the courage to tell Carol things that she normally wouldn’t.

„You know... in my old school there was this girl, she was really cute and I thought that... well I don‘t really know what it was that I felt for her, when I think about it now, but I told her that I really liked her and she kissed me...“ Back then Therese thought that she loved her but in comparison to what she feels for Carol all of those feelings seem pathetic.

„The next day she seemed to regret what she did, got together with this guy and told everyone that I kissed her although she didn‘t want that. After that going to school was just, hell... I don‘t really know why I tell you this right now... I‘m sorry.“

All of this was said in a whisper, as if the darkness also makes them both speak softer than they normally would.

„Don‘t apologize,“ Carol squeezes Therese’s hand „ it seems weird maybe, but I really want to know you and those are thinks that made you who you are now. And I really like who you are.“ Carol sees the small smile on Therese‘s face and has to smile too.

„You do?“ Therese asks with a small voice. „Yes.“ At that Therese looks up, sees Carol smiling at her, with Carol everything she feels seems to be so intense, so now there is this happiness spreading inside of her that makes her all warm and fuzzy.

Carol let‘s go of Therese‘s hand, get‘s off the sill and stands in front of Therese between her legs.

„I‘m sorry that you went trough what you did, she shouldn’t have done that... she doesn’t know what she‘s missing.“

Therese just looks at her, her eyes, more grey then blue now, feels Carols hands on her legs, not moving, not pressing down, they just lay there.

Again she finds courage in the darkness, one of her hands now on top of Carols the other brushes a strand of hair behind her ear before it settles in the nape of her neck. Both move forward, Carol looks at Therese’s lips, then back into her eyes, „Can I... can I kiss you?“ she asks. Therese doesn’t answer just smiles a small smile, let‘s out a breath of relief and before she can inhale again their lips meet.

Soft lips touch each other, slow movements, total silence. Both feel the tingle in their stomachs, the warmth that spreads trough them, as if they need the contact of these lips to truly feel something.

Both of them seem to feel every heartbeat, every blood vessel that get‘s pumped through their veins every little thing inside of them. Then a smile get‘s formed on both their faces, they feel it while they kiss and move a few inches back. Their hot breaths mingle together to build something new.

Opening their eyes looking at each other, smiling together, breathing together. Therese plays with the small hairs at the nape of Carols neck, a shiver runs down her spine. Therese pulls Carol closer and they kiss again and again and _again_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, please let me know what you think!! 
> 
> I saw a lot of Cate Blanchett interviews again these last days and the part where Therese talkes about the memories of her father is a quote by her and her memories of her father. Just so you know, gosh this woman and the way she talkes... -E


End file.
